Senseless Thoughts February 23, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Oww...thots.Tags: Bong Revilla, Jun Lozada, kopong-kopong, senseless thoughts, talangka, teteng
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There are lots of things in life talaga na hindi kayang i-explain ng aking coconut-milking brains (translation: gumagatang-utak) at di kayang i-elucidate ng aking superbly-superior brains cells. Kasi naman, shuckzzz, over to max ang lalim as in mas deep pa sa kailaliman ng Mariana’s Trench (that is the deepest depression in the world, in case you don’t know at hindi ka kasing intelligent ko..hehe!). I don’t know who originated, concocted, designed, developed, conceive those stuffs, siguro mas matalino pa sila kay Einstein at kay King Solomon kasi know nila ang mga things-things(translation: bagay-bagay) na yun.
Here are some of those perplexing thoughts….
1. Utak Talangka (commonly used to describe envious nature of a person)
Napa-isip talaga ako sa phrase na ito at tinanong ko ang aking sarili, “May utak nga ba ang talangka?”. Nagtaka talaga ako, so I did serious research on this matter, as in ni-research ko talaga, sa Google, Yahoo, Wikipedia, Altavista, Microsoft Encarta at kung saan-saan pa just to find evidence kung may utak nga ba ang talangka. Wala…none…nothing…nada… niente…nichts…zero…not a single article that confirms na may brains yung talangka. Ask ko yung mga fishermen kasi nga sila ang may authority sa ganoong mga things-things, problema hindi din nila alam at wala daw silang paki-alam kung may utak ang talangka o wala. Wala nga daw silang pakialam kay Jun Lozada sa talangka pa kaya (may point din naman). According to my “intelligent” (confirmation needed) friend may utak daw ang talangka kasi paano sila mabubuhay ‘pag walang brains, may point din naman sya, kaya lang ang mga human being nga na walang utak nabubuhay talangka pa kaya. Nakapagtataka talaga…may utak nga ba ang talangka? Buti sana kung buhay pa si Ka Ernie, ask natin sa kanya kaso nakikipagpalitan na siya ngayon ng trivia kay San Pedro,
2. Panahon ni Kopong-kopong (used to describe anything that is obsolete and baduy)
My quad core brain is wondering talaga, who is Kopong-kopong ba? Anong era ba siya nag-exist sa earth? Sino kaya mas naunang mag-exist sa earth? Mga dinosaurs o si Kopong-kopong? Ano kaya apelyido nya o baka naman screen name nya lang yung Kopong-kopong? Kawawa naman yung tao, palagi nalang ina-accuse na walang fashion sense.
3. Anak ng teteng (Favorite line ni Sen. Bong Revilla sa movies nya)
I’m curious, ano ba yung teteng? Kasi ang alam kong teteng palayaw ng isang maganda, matalino at sexy na babae. Naisip ko lang na baka parang exam na fill-in the blanks yung statement. Just like this: Anak ka ng teteng ______________.
Pero ang mas pinagtataka ko, bakit nagging senador si Bong Revilla? Ano ba K nya? It’s just a thought…. maybe a senseless one, but a thought nevertheless (charot!)
Top 5 Funny Blog for Project Lafftrip Laffapalooza February 23, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Oww...thots.Tags: funny, joke, ohthots, owwtots, Project Lafftrip Laffapalooza, tambayannibyter
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I wanna join to Project Lafftrip Laffapalooza na ni-launch ni Badoodles sa KwentongBarbero.com. My objective to join is to make papansin of my “supposed to be” funny blog and syempre to hopping to win a new cellphone (panahon pa kasi ng Jurassic ang CP ko).
1. Ohh… Thoughts! > The upcoming the best, funny blog in the entire cyberspace. Its just 2 weeks old blog pero may say na yung content. Just wait for few more weeks masisindak pati si Barbara sa mga nakaka-utot na content nito. (Pakapalan na ‘to! Patronize your own…hehe).
2. Sayote Queen > Isa siyang reyna ng mga kwentong katangahan at kakatawanan. The thoughts were pretty amazing, parang hindi mo maisip na maiisip yun ng normal na human being.
3. Chillidobo > Naughty and wacky, and saya ng mga topics ganda rin at nakatuwa ang mga images.
4. Professional Heckler > I love the way the guy heckle those mader packing tapes politician. Lalo na pagtinitira nya si Mike.
5. Blog ni Inday > Idol ko siya noon, pero slight nalang ngayon kasi parang yumayabang na ang dating nya. But still, I love the nosebleeding thing so vote ko parin sya.
That’s my top five picks! Pls. visit my other blogsite http://tambayannibyter.i.ph. It is actually a replica (almost) of this, kasi sabi ng friend ko pwede hindi daw pwede gawing raket ang blog sa wordpress kaya gawa ako ng replica dun sa kabila. Paunawa lang po, Huwag lang sana kayong matawa pag feeling nyo hindi nakakatawa. 
TANGA: The Definition February 20, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Oww...thots.Tags: bobo, funny, idiot, jokes, stupid, tanga, ungas
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TA . NGA [ta-`ngah]
— noun
1. taong ayaw magka-boyfriend pero nagrereklamong single.
2. lalaking mahilig mambabae tapos nagugulat everytime ayaw pagkatiwalaan ng mga babae.
3. ex mong iniwan ka for some unknown reason then biglang magpapa-ramdam ulit after Jurassic years.
4. taong pilit na naghihintay sa taong wala naming balak dumating
5. babae o lalakeng ilang beses na naloko sa pare-parehong dahilan pero di natututo.
6. mag-jowang araw-araw nag-aaway pero hinding-hindi daw sila maghihiwalay.
7. textmate na nagbibigay ng load/pasaload pero hindi naman tini-text nang kanyang pinagbibigyan ng load ngunit patuloy paring nagbibigay ng load.
8. taong magpapa-kamatay sa para sa taong wala namang pakialam.
—Related forms
Ka.ta.nga.han, adjective
Ta.ta.nga.ta.nga, verb
Ta.nge.ngot. noun
—Synonyms
Hangal, gunggong, estupido/a, gago/a, ungas, walang kwenta, walang saysay, luko-luko, luka-luka , bobo.
Most Richly Blessed February 20, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Serious Thots.Tags: Blessing, God, Riches
3 comments
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I had hoped for –
But everything I had hope for.
Green Stuffs… February 19, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Sexy Thots.Tags: funny, innocence, jokes, sex, Sexy
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Height of Poverty: Wife’s stitching husband’s condom.
Height of Innocence: A girl applying Clearasil to her nipples thinking that they are pimples.
Height of Ambition: An ant climbing on the elephant leg with a motive of rape.
Height of Unemployment: A spider web found in prostitute’s pussy
Height of Laziness: A man sleeping on the top of a naked woman expecting an earthquake to do the rest.
Anak: Tay, ano po magandang gawin kasi yung panty ng girlfriend ko may nakatatak na “No Entry”.
Tatay: Easy lang anak, yung brief mo markahan mo ng “Government Project Do Not Delay”.
10 out of 10 doctors worldwide concluded that the best source of CALCIUM is the women’s vagina because it hardens the even penis which has no bone!
Songs of Married Couple
First Night – Aray Naku!
1-5 Years – Araw- araw Gabi gabi
6-15 Years – Paminsan minsan
16-25 Years – Sana Kahit Minsan
26-49 Years – Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 up – Maalaala mo Kaya
Is This Love? February 14, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Love Thots.Tags: heart, love, valentines
3 comments
(dedicated to someone very, extra, super, mega to the max special person)
Your smile lightens up my day
Your soft voice makes my day so gay
I just can’t let myself but smile,
Every time your eyes meet mine.
Your presence makes me feel so right
I have dilemma in my mind
But I don’t know why,
Just looking at your smile makes everything’s alright.
Other says you’re cute
But in my eyes you’re precious
They say just an ordinary guy with a lot of ability
But my heart says you’re the extraordinary guy
That God made for me.
I don’t know why I have to feel this way
This feeling is stranger to me.
Never in my life had I felt this way.
So, please tell me.
Is this what they called love?
Or just a simple hormonal abnormality?
Please tell me…
BUGS Wisdom February 13, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Oww...thots.Tags: bleuken, rpg, tumblebugs, wisdom
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Paunawa: Ang inyong mababasa sa akdang ito ay hindi galing sa taong nag ngangalang Felixberto Baguyo, Jr., a friend and colleague of mine na mas kilala bilang Sir Bags. Because if it is so, sigurado green ang mababasa nyo…bwehehe (pis tau sir bags…)
During my grueling and boring days, when I was working on my thesis for my master’s degree I tumbled upon a very nice and very relaxing computer game…the TUMBLEBUGS. It is not an online game, not even a multiplayer game. It is so simple that you don’t need to memorize a lot of complicated shortcuts and other strategies that often used in Massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) or any other RPG’s. It is so simple that anybody who has a common sense of a three-year old can play this one. I found it so relaxing and a good way to de-stressed. Aside from that, what really make Tumblebugs special are the tips shown at the end of the every round. Some of these tips are the cool, funny, hilarious, amusing, witty, sarcastic but quite true proverbs. Here are some of my favorites…
(Shucckss! Dumudugo ang ilong ko! Tissue please…)
1. A bit of hard work never killed anyone – but why risk it?
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
4. Quando omni flunkus moritati (when all else fails, play dead).
5. Everything your mother ever warned you about is true.
6. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t, why you should.
7. Politician and diapers should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
8. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.
9. Never test the depth of water with both feet.
10. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you want your spouse to pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
13. It is far more impressive when other discover your good qualities without your help.
14. Never to trust dog to watch your food.
15. Never bother to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it bothers the pig.
16. If you don’t pay you exorcist, you get repossessed.
17. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
18. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
20. a likely impossibility us always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
I’ve just thought…kakayanin kaya ni Inday to?
UTOT: The Definition February 13, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Oww...thots.Tags: fart, flatulence, funny, utot
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Nothing feels better than a nice, loud utot lalo na kapag nag-ala-twister na ang masamang hangin sa tiyan mo. Mabaho man at nakakahiya, we have to admit that nothing feels better than emitting that gaseous bad elements from our system, nakakaginhawa ng buhay nagiging masaya ang world.
Ang “Utot” ay salitang tagalog na nanganaghulugang ang hangin na lumalabas sa isang parte ng ating katawan na may kakaibang amoy. Ang utot ay parang “universal language” sa Pilipinas kasi kahit saang sulok ka ng beautiful country Philippines mula Batanes hangang Jolo ay siguradong gets nila na iyon ay mabahong hangin na lumalabas sa iyong anus as in wetpu.
In all languages merong salita para sa utot:
In English:
- flatulence
- flatus
- fart
- aerosolized stool
- anal acoustics
- anal oxide
- anus evacuation
- arse blast
- silent killer
- and many more……
In French: Flatulence
In German: Blähung
In Spanish: flatulencia
In Italian: flatulenza
In Russian: напыщенность (ewan ko kung kaya nyong basahin at i-pronouce to)
In Chinese: chou pi
Definition:
flat·u·lent [fláchələnt], adjective
flat·u·lence, noun
-flat·u·lent·ly, adverb
1. causing gas in digestive system: causing excessive gas flatus to be created in the stomach and intestines
- full of digestive gas: having excessive gas flatusin the digestive system
- pompous or self-important: having or showing excessive self-importance (literary) >>sa madaling salita mga mayabang na mahilig mag pautot…
[Late 16th century. Via French < modern Latin flatulentus < Latin flatus "blowing, blast" < flare "to blow"]
Ayon sa Microsoft ® Encarta ® 2007 ito ang kahulugan ng utot:
Flatulence is presence of excessive amounts of gas in the stomach or intestines. Most of the gas in the stomach consists of atmospheric nitrogen and oxygen that have been swallowed. The nitrogen is largely unobservable and travels on through the intestines. Additional gases, principally carbon dioxide, methane, and hydrogen, are formed within the intestines. The carbon dioxide, produced by fermentation, is largely absorbed. The other gases, produced by incomplete digestion of foods rich in starch or cellulose, such as beans or cabbage, are eventually expelled from the rectum as flatus. The disagreeable odor of flatus is caused by several sulfur compounds, particularly by mercaptans. Large amounts of gas in the stomach or intestines may cause distention and pain.
Anak ng kamote, kaya pala utot ka ng utot pag kumain ka ng kamote. Ang utot ay isang napaka simple at ordinaryong word pero maaring mauutot ka at dumugo ang ilong mo sa kakabasa ng explanation kung bakit umutot ang tao.
Ito yung major components of the flatus(utot) by percentage:
- Nitrogen – 20% – 90%
- Hydrogen – 0% – 50%
- Carbon Dioxide – 10% – 30%
- Oxygen – 0% – 10%
- Methane – 0% – 10%
Jushkohh…alam ba ‘to ni Inday?
Facts: A normal person farts 16 to 20 times per day. Regardless the intensity at amoy.
Kaya pag may taong nagsabi sayo na di sila umuutot mag-ingat ka malamang alien yan.
Just a thought…Umuutot din ba ang mga fish?
What Turn You On? February 13, 2008
Posted by tmselbor in Sexy Thots.Tags: IQ, Nerd, Sexy, Smart
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What turns you on? Well, 99.9% of male population would say big boobs, nice ass, slim waist, sexy hips, long legs and so on. While the 95% (another proof that females are smarter than males) would say tall, dark and handsome with six-pack abs, solid chest, awesome biceps and mostly the part of male anatomy which they hope would be above the normal measurement(owwwhh common you know what I mean).
On this subject, I’m proud to declare that I belong to the upper 5% elite female populace who didn’t drool (as in naglalaway) over those studs. Personally, I always like nerdy-brainy men. The kind of guy who fixes their hair in Jose Rizal fashion as in nationalistic and dating at pormang Clark Kent…namannn…whatta hunk!. This kind of guy are my “turn-on” not the usual brawn with no brain jocks who’s IQ is lower than the measurement of their p@#is. Most of these type of guy are usually self-centered, arrogant bastard who think they’re God given gifts to women. Well, of course, with exception to few.
Those cutie nerdy-brainy type of guys usually lack of social skills which on the other hand, perfect by the social animals. Simple looking cannot justify the essence of these men, you have to SEE them. They’re the epitome of the saying “Do not judge the book without cover” “Do not judge the books with its cover” you have to see what’s inside (especially inside their zipper…oopps…).
Talking to these type of guys would move your IQ a notch higher, because they’re so deep, as if you’re diving in Mariana’s trench kapag kausap sila. Smart, intelligent, witty and funny that’s what they are, just don’t go into technical details kung ayaw mong mahilo at dumugo ang ilong mo.
Where the 3-inches heels could you find this type of guy? Well, obviously you can’t usually find them at parties or bars or resto. Try to look for them at libraries, computer and science laboratories and internet cafes. In malls, they could be spotted at bookstores, computer shops and places where you could find latest gadgets. They’re few, actually almost borderline to being an endangered species, and if could find one don’t simply look what’s outside you’ve got to see what’s inside their brain and heart and you will be amazed of what you could find. And on the second thought maybe you could find what’s inside their zipper too…
